This month is all about learning to love ALL OF YOUR PROVERBIAL WARTS! This includes your wobbly parts, your bony parts, your saggy, hidden, or stroppy parts, your grumpy parts, despairing parts or shouty parts… essentially, any parts of you that you don’t like ! This is a month of ‘you can run but you can’t hide’ and this is especially true about hiding from yourself. Courageous warriorship takes all forms, and being honest and loving with yourself is one of the most courageous daily journeys you take.
The cosmic energy of this May is unlike anything I have seen in my four decades of watching it. The colour of the vibration that is settling around you and in you this month is black and immense. You know the kind of deafening silence a forest has after a heavy snowfall? That is the kind of thick vastness of this black energy field. Immense, beautiful black.
Themes of the month
One of the big themes this month is 'going into the unknown'. And not stepping gingerly into the dark and unknown, but running, dancing, even leaping in the dark.
Can you really trust that much?
Can you invite yourself to see in the dark and trust the ground beneath your feet and the air around you?
The dark of this month does not hold monsters, it holds pathways of light that are even more visible in the dark. Not being afraid to look, to wonder, to explore, to examine; those are the themes of this month, that is the way you will be able to weave the true web of your life. Weave in the darkness, when the filaments are much easier to see, spin them, weave them, make your magic.
This is the time to reclaim the power and the mystery of the night and the liminal places of dusk and dawn.
Go deep. Into the darkness.
This month is a great time for retreats; allow time to retreat into your inner depths. The place of your soul. It is in the night that we feel the illumination of the moon and the stars, the deep peace, the wonder, the awe. Reclaim the beauty of the night; it is essential for moving beyond the fear. The world was born in darkness. You were born in darkness. The darkness is the immensity. Feel it. Be it. Let it flow through you. Reclaim the dark.
What are the stories that hold you back?
What are the stories that silence you, stifle you, gag you and bind you?
What needs to change for you to be even more you?
What parts of you can you embrace more fully and allow those you love and trust to see?
Anything broken, anything cracked, anything less than perfect, anything that is hidden away….these are the places that hold the most potential for releasing energy and light through all of your energy field, and therefore all of your life. And this month the cosmic energy is all about pushing these places more and more into your awareness so you can bring them into the balance that you so much deserve.
One of my favourite Leonard Cohen songs is ‘The Anthem’. The chorus goes…
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There’s a crack in everything
It is where the light gets in
As a recovering perfectionist (lol!) this song speaks loudly to me, AND as someone who sees energy, this song speaks even louder, for in it, Cohen captures the awareness that it is the hidden or broken parts of you that can shine the most light on your fullness.
For a moment, consider what it would be like to just be you. Just you.
In all of your glory and all of your grumpiness.
In all of your smiles and all of your scowls.
How does that feel?
Who are you, in all of your authenticity?
Big questions. And these are the type of questions that the energy of this month will be asking of you. You can choose to ignore them, but for you to embrace the opportunity to grow with the season, with the year, in this time of emerging consciousness, then to ignore these questions means being left behind and having to play catch up later.
How would the world need to be for you to show up as the real you with no editing, no polishing, and no airbrushing?
From the moment you were born you were immersed in a culture that instructed you on how to be you. As a young person you soaked up all the rules of how to be good, how to belong, how to feel safe, how to be worthy. Are you still playing by those rules? Do you still agree with them? Who made the rules and are they still appropriate for the world that we are living in?
I hope that as you grew you were also given vast love and respect for your emerging self. I hope for you that you had beloveds who guarded your soul development as well as your physical development. Maybe that is your truth, and maybe your growing experiences were very very different, where judgement, criticism and oppression were more part of your experiencing. Even if you were loved for all of yourself, by the time you went to school you were already a product of the cultural norms and all of the unexamined assumptions inherent within such norms.
This puts a HUGE pressure on you to conform to what others expect of you.
Perhaps you were a bit too loud and told that good girls or good boys were quieter. Or perhaps you were short and round, and looks and suggestions were given to you that you needed to do more exercise or lose weight or at least watch what you ate. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. You know how it went for you and the stories that you began to create about yourself.
‘I’m not as popular as…..because I am too……’
Or ‘I’ll never be able to do……because I am not……’
But this month is going to shake it all up!
As you meet the energy of this month, what is important to understand is that as you grew, these beliefs coalesced in your energy field. They became stories about yourself that you believed as truth, and perhaps you still do. It is tough being a child growing in a culture that is in upheaval, and as our entire planet and global civilization is in upheaval, then the culture of your birth and the culture of where you live now is all in transition, all a little wobbly, all a little uncertain.
And this affects your energy, which in turn affects your sense of safety. So you adapt and adjust the parts of yourself that don’t quite fit in, that aren’t quite accepted by your peers or your family or your society.
We have seen huge examples of this and how the unexamined assumptions of our cultural norms are changing around issues such as gender, homosexuality, male abuse of power etc. but we still have a very very long way to go before accepting people just as they are, in their full authenticity, is the cultural norm.
Can you take a moment and assess how much energy you use being ‘good’, or being ‘better’? How much energy in a day that you use trying to fit in? It takes so much energy from your whole-body system to continually try to present ‘the best you’ to the world, for it means that you have judged yourself in your wholeness and judged some parts as not good enough to show to others, to show to the world, perhaps even to show to yourself. It takes so much energy to hide these parts away. It dims your light and stifles your soul expression.
And this, in turn, affects every part of your life. Physically this month will challenge any ailments or strains that are already present whether you know them consciously or not. When you are not aligned with the potential of this black vibration, you may find yourself pushed into old physical pains and stiffness. This can make tendons and muscles vulnerable to pulls and strains as you ignore the warning signs your body gives you because of their familiarity.
Pay attention to the language of your body and the way it is alway comm